"HE MADE ME FEEL SPECIAL..SAID HE WON'T HAVE SEX WITH ME..."



I was brought up in a Christian home and we all attended a living church, where the cardinal message was righteousness. At 10, I already started practising what I saw ''righteous'' people do. I prayed and read my bible and fasted; having little or no understanding of what I was doing.
I did all of that religiously for about a year, until I started acting like a child again. Playing and watching t.v and praying only when I had nightmares.

At age 12 I answered an altar call. Believing I had a better understanding of being born again, and what it took to be righteous, I gave my life to Christ. I did the usual, prayed and fasted. Sometimes I would fast and ask for silly things "God, make me taller, make my bum bum bigger" lol (after asking Him to bless my parents for me). I would lie afterwards and feel my salvation has been ruined and stop praying all together. Consequently, I was a "regular" when it came to altar calls.
This went on till I was 14. I met a guy at that age who was wayyyyyy older than me. How old? I can't even tell. He made me believe I was special and he just seemed perfect to me. He knew more, had beards (unlike the boys in my class) and seemed witty to me. He carried out experiments on my body and said he wasn’t going to have sex with me till I was 18. 


He stirred up feelings in me I couldn’t understand or control. I forgot what it felt like to pray. I even stopped responding to the altar calls because I knew after the remorse and tears, I still won’t say "no" when he wanted to do experiments with me.

I tell anybody who cares to listen that for any vice, it is better you don't start, because when you do, it is difficult to stop. I was hooked on sexual sin for the next 5 years with different guys after my first. Because of the last atom of morals I had in me, I would do everything with guys except sex.


In the University, I rededicated my life to God again and said "Dear God, I'm coming back again, don’t cast me away, help me". This was 2013 and I was 19 by then. I tried soo hard to be holy then. There were times I would fall again into sin and get discouraged. I would feel so filthy but in my filthiness, God would pick me up and sanctify me, yet I worshipped with the mind that I failed God.

This testimony is not complete without adding that righteousness became more real to me when I was baptised with the Holy ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues.

Christianity for me became real, holiness seemed practicable. It wasn’t so difficult because I wasn’t relying on my human strength anymore. I had the Holy spirit in me to convict me, to comfort me and to minister to me. When He corrects me, I don’t feel remorse like I used to, but genuinely repent and he not only corrects me, but gives me the grace not to go back anymore.

I read my bible with more understanding and revelation now and I am proud to tell anyone and everyone that 'I am Christian and I am ENJOYING GOD'.

A.A DELTA STATE.

Obadan Gbeminiyi

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