TRUSTING GOD WITH YOUR HAPPILY EVER AFTER-MRS B's STORY


Mr and Mrs B at their white wedding. 
I remember reading Lola Busari's story on Bellanaija. I remember how inspired her story left me, I definitely remember the amount of backlash, negative comments and insults she got (on top her own story oo, human beings ehhn) I definitely remember her replying some of the comments in the calmest way ever this babe was asking those who were insulting her to email her so she can explain things better to them.......super duper cool right?
  When I sent her a mail asking her to contribute to this blog by sharing her story, her warmness and willingness was what touched me the most, she is so willing to bless anyone around her with her story.
     I am sure by now you her wondering what this "her story" is.....well continue reading to find out about "her story". I am positive it would bless you greatly. 
  • Please tell us a little about your self
Well...first and foremost, thank you so much for thinking of me when you wanted to do this piece for
your website. It's a pleasure to share my story and experiences. So as you know, my name is Lola Akindele Busari. I'm 28 years old and have been happily married to the love of my life ...Mr B...for two years now.I love reading and writing and most importantly I LOVE God! Lol. I studied English Literature for my first degree and I have a masters in Creative and Professional Writing. I wrote and published my first book, Papa's Little Girls, when I was 25 and I'm working on my second book, Portrait of A Virgin, which will be out in March next year. I also have a Post Graduate Diploma in Theology, specialising in Youth Ministry and I will be starting my training course in January 2016 to become a professional Marriage and Relationship Counsellor. I currently own two businesses in the Education sector and I'm also an English Lecturer at a college for adult learners. And finally.... I'm obsessed with drinking tea, eating popcorn and loving up on myhusband! Lol!
She does love loving up to her husband. 
  •   When did you give your life to Christ? 
I grew up in a Christian home so I had always been a Christian so to speak. But I guess it was when I was about 13/14 years old, whilst I was at KICC, that I actively made the decision to really want to know God and to give my life to Him by living for Christ. It wasn't easy being a teenager with such views amongst others at school who didn't feel the same way, but it comes to a point where you have to ask yourself: Do I want to 'fit in' for my friends? Or 'fit in' for Christ?
  •  When did you decide to be sexually pure and what prompted it?
It was around the time I consciously gave my life to Christ. I was in year 9 at secondary school which in Nigeria is I believe, JSS3 I think? So we were all about 14 years old and some of my friends who had boyfriends had started sleeping with them. At first it was all new and exciting for them and at times, the ones who didn't have boyfriends or who weren't sleeping with anyone, were made to feel 'uncool' or left out.

But I watched how some of my closest friends at that time went through great emotional struggles that came hand in hand with embarking on a sexual relationship at such a young age...and in many cases, the guys they were sleeping with were much older than my friends and they would manipulate them into thinking that they needed to be sexually active with them in order to keep them. It didn't really look like an inviting concept to me, so I opted out of that before anything like that could even begin.

But it's when I was 16 that I actually embraced the spiritual aspect of abstinence. I was still attending
KICC at the time and Pastor Matthew preached a series called 'Let's Talk About Sex'. It opened my mind to an understanding of just how precious such a gift from God is and I was determined to keep my virginity and give it to the man that God had called to be my husband once we were married. And.... Something my mum told me which always stuck with me is that it's not good to sleep around with different guys because one day, when you finally get married, it's likely that some of those guys may even be your wedding guests and they will be able to say: I've had that already. The thought of walking around anywhere and knowing that some man somewhere could say that about me, especially in a situation where I may be with my husband... Was not something I would ever want. So it was definitely legs closed until I gave my virginity to my wonderful Mr B when we got married. Virginity is a gift that should be given to the right person. I understand that this is not always the case, where it’s been taken by force, which breaks my heart...but it's not the end. Having something TAKEN from you and GIVING something away, are two different things. If anyone's had their virginity taken from them, then all is not lost. They still have it to give as a gift to their husband because they are the ones giving it to their husbands in love. Sorry that was such a long answer lol... I can get a bit passionate when talking about God's gift of sex lol.

  •   Did you ever date anyone before you got married and what was it like, considering your decision to be 'celibate'?    
Yes, before dating Mr B, I had three past relationships between the ages of 16 and 21. The first was a white guy from Wales who was a family friend and the culture clash combined with my views on celibacy took a toll on the relationship. The second was a Nigerian Christian guy I met at uni when I was 19. Although there were no culture clashes...the celibacy factor eventually put that relationship to an end...even though he was a Christian. The last guy, before I finally started dating Mr B was again another white guy from Wales... I don't know why Wales lol...I met him at uni also and true to form...my views on celibacy put an end to that relationship too. The funny thing is all of the guys said they were fine with it at first and then within 6 months to a year of the relationship...they just couldn't hack it anymore. They needed their "sex fix" and I wasn't giving it to them so they all ended in more or less the same way.

  • What was it like being a single youth who wanted to live her life for Christ., were there any challenges and how did you overcome them?
Being a single youth was an interesting position to be in when I was growing up. At school, none of my friends shared my beliefs so there was always an element of feeling left out. And at church, I couldn't find anyone in my youth group who actually truly shared my beliefs either, even though they were in church. I found my church youth group to be more about social gatherings and meeting guys and girls than actually focusing on developing young people in Christ. Eventually I decided to leave the youth group and just stayed in the adult services.

So from the age of about 15/16 I was always in the adult services instead of the youth ones and I think that's why I grew quite quickly in my maturity as a Christian. Even when I got to uni, it was more or less the same thing. They had Christian Society etc. but it was always more about social gatherings and seeing who could date who. I remember at one particular Cell group meeting at uni whilst in my first year...and I wanted to ask a question about their views on celibacy. One of the girls in the group told me not to ask the question because everyone there was having sex anyway...even the youth leaders! That was the last time I ever went to those cell groups again.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a loner lol. I still had friends but when they don't understand or when they can't relate to you on a spiritual level, there's always a certain extent as to how deep that relationship can go.

To help overcome my feelings at that time, I really threw myself into God's arms...wanting to know Him deeply and spending time with Him. It just gives you a completely different outlook on life altogether once you know who you are in Christ and knowing how much you're loved by Him. You no longer feel like an outsider when you stop getting invited to parties etc. because your friends know you're not going to get drunk with them or because you're not going to allow some random guy to kiss and touch you in sexually inappropriate ways, which is what your friends do. It comes to a point where you're actually happy that they've stopped inviting you to such places. So yes, I would say that being close to God really helped me.
Mr and Mrs B at their traditional wedding.
That doesn't mean you become some religious recluse who doesn't know how to enjoy them self and who covers them self up like a nun all in the name of "being close to God" Lol. You can still have fun and look nice. By age 16 I had read the Bible from beginning to end but I also have hair that has been dyed blonde. I know who I am in Christ and I know how to live a life that is pleasing to Him. I am so grateful for the close circle of friends I have today, which includes my sister, because we are all spiritually like minded, which seals the bonds of our friendship. I would say that a lot of young people today are quite lucky because there are a lot of Christian groups and social enterprises outside of church where they can make connections with other like-minded young Christians, which didn't really exist when I was growing up. I would encourage all young Christians to make such connections with each other and to first and foremost, delve into a full relationship with Christ, knowing God for themselves.

 What age do you feel is appropriate for a person to begin to pray for a life partner?

This is going to sound strange but I honestly don't feel like you're too young to start praying about it. With the way society's going today, children and young people are being exposed to more and more things and its good for them to know from the beginning what is a good thing to be praying for.

When we were young children in primary school, my mum used to say her usual daily prayers for us e.g. Protection, good grades at school etc. But I also remember her praying for our future husbands and wives. That whatever household they are growing up in right now, God will be with them and direct them.

It’s simple really. A young girl growing up in a home where daddy is abusive to mummy, is not too young to pray that one day, when she grows up and gets married, God will give her a husband who is the total opposite of daddy. And similarly, a young girl growing up in a loving home who witnesses how wonderfully daddy treats mummy, is not too young to pray that one day, when she grows up, God will give her a husband just like her papa.

For me personally, I started to pray for a life partner when I was about 15....and even though you may make some mistakes along the way and end up dating people along the way who it doesn't work out with...the fact that you have been praying is what helps you make those decisions to end the relationship when you need to...or to accept that God has better for you --‐ if the guy is the one who's ended the relationship.

I started to seriously pray and fast about God bringing me my husband when I was about 22. After the past three failed relationships, I wasn’t prepared to go through another one like that and waste my time. I had just finished my masters and was ready to start thinking seriously about marriage. That's when the whole supernatural story of Mr B and I came into play, with the visits to Heaven and the visits from Jesus and the angels.

  •  How did you meet Mr B?
I first met Mr B when I was 18 years old, about ten years ago now (that makes me feel so old lol). We were both studying at Queen Marys University, before he left to continue at UCL. I met him at the library on campus and sat at his table because I had gotten lost in the library and discovered that there were no more seats left. The last available seat was at his table. He claims it's because I couldn't resist his good looks ...but I know the real reason and that's the story I'm sticking to lol.

We became friends that day and eventually would keep in touch from time to time via Facebook etc. or whenever I had a birthday party etc. And that's how our friendship grew over time. Until....that fateful day... I will never forget it because it was on my last day of praying and fasting for my husband... 6/8/2010 when he sent me a message after a two year period of not keeping in touch...and the rest as they say...is history...except our story was a VERY complicated one before it finally turned to the page of Happily Ever After.
  • What role did God play in your meeting him?
That's a mighty question lol. I know God definitely played a huge role in us coming together. In fact it was just ALL God. Even concerning me meeting him in the library was definitely God because I NEVER used to go to the library by myself because I would always get lost! But that day, my study partner didn't come to uni and there was no way I was going to go into the library alone, but I had no choice and I just took the plunge and did it...and obviously got lost lol...and found myself at Mr B's table where the last seat available in the study area was.

God also played an incredible role in leading us together as a couple ready for marriage. As I mentioned earlier, I had taken out a week to specifically pray and fast for God to bring me my husband and before the week was over, He brought Mr B back into my life.
  •  How was it finding out that he was a Muslim, did you feel betrayed by God
At the time, the word BETRAYED felt like an understatement! I would ask God everyday like: Why me Lord?! What was the point of praying and fasting? I felt like I was going through the ultimate wilderness period! Lol. All whilst we were friends, Mr B hadn't told me that he was a Muslim because he knew I was such a strong Christian and didn't see how I would agree to us having a romantic relationship.

I was so shocked when I found out he was Muslim, especially because I could feel myself really starting to like him and with this new revelation, I knew that we had to end things. So I was very upset about the whole thing but I didn't want to do anything that would displease God, so it was time to call it quits.

Luckily he told me after a few weeks of us dating so, as much as I was falling for him, it would have been easier to cut it off then as opposed to if we had been together for a really long time
.
Or a wife lol.
WHAAT?? I am sure many of you did not expect to see the last question, Did she get married to a muslim? Where exactly is this interview going? 

Well I have been told that people of my generation do not like to read things that are too long, and it is for this reason I decided to split this interview into two parts, I promise you, all the questions you have would be answered by next week Tuesday, and you would be able to ask Mrs B your questions.

Until them I encourage you to go over, The interview again, Mrs B is a young woman with so much of the wisdom of God deposited in her, and she made some very valid points in this interview on friendship, spiritual growth, and many more. 
Bless someone by sharing the link with the Icons below on social media.
x.o gbemieO

Obadan Gbeminiyi

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