I KEPT RISING AND FALLING UNTIL......


I was born into a Christian family and raised to be one. A family where you do not have a say when it comes to going to church or not; you are going as long as there is a church service going on; whether it is Sunday service, midweek service, night vigil, revival, you just name it. So, growing up, I was so used to going to church that church could be called my second home. But to me, church never held anything special or spectacular, because it was the norm.



Leaving my parents' house for the first time in 2008 exposed me to a different type of preaching, and on a faithful Sunday in September 2008, the pastor preached, made an altar call, and I responded. But the truth be told, I never really did follow up with action, neither was a conscious of what the newness carried, i.e. rights and responsibilities, I never really found my feet, and before long, I sank back into my passive Christian life.
Going to the university though, I was like every other youth out there, I had my fair share of booze, girls and a little bit of smoking to top it and I never missed church because going to church had become a routine. I was the guy that had a form of godliness; church on a regular basis, getting remorseful and scared whenever there was an altar call in church. Believe me, there was nothing I dreaded like the altar calls, but there I always was, helpless and constantly troubled, but as soon as I was out of church, my fears would leave me and I would be back to my ways.

‎Although there were times when I would set some spiritual goals, hoping to achieve them by myself, with my on strength, but we all know only the spirit can empower one to do the things of the spirit‎. So there I was, always rising and falling.
Let me state at this point that growing up in a Christian home meant I had to join a unit in church mandatorily, and I was drafted into the church choir at a very early stage of my life, but I never really did understand that you could not toil with sin and stand before God and expect that the service rendered would be acceptable. So through the years, I carried my look warmness about. 

Fast forward to March 2015, a month which presented another opportunity to get reconciled back with God, which I actually did by responding to another altar call, thinking that I was finally ready to surrender all, but no sooner had I done that that I was back to my old ways. Getting back to school, I just put christ aside because I just got tired of rising and falling and just decided to stay down with no hope of rising again. ‎This time though, I really indulged well in those activities mentioned earlier.

One thing eminent throughout was that I was a pretty sad individual, OMG, I laughed a lot, but was dead sad on the inside and nobody could really just proffer a solution to that problem.
So, in the weeks preceding the Nigerian Law School posting, I made a decision to return back to God without any altar call, and I think God was merciful enough and took me back, but I was still ignorant of the fact that I just had to always ask him to guide my thoughts and actions.

Obviously, the devil had his own plans for me too because the Friday preceding the date of resumption into the law school, devil caught me in his web again. But you see, when God says its time, its time. On getting to law school, I was still feeling gallant in the lord when he told me to cut off the unwholesome relationship I had gotten myself into. The instruction came to me three days consecutively and stopped coming, but there I was, telling myself that I would do the needful when I go back home for Christmas break, but God would have none of that and believe me, a certain emptiness came over me in the days that followed and I just knew within me that something was amiss.

But because God was prepared to give me one more chance, and make his grace available to me once again (because I had so much abused his grace), he so much positioned me that on the day we had our Christmas carol in the law school, I was lucky enough to be among those that stayed back to spend some more time in God's presence, and in the midst of it, the holy spirit took charge, then God came down as a consuming fire, expressly stating that whoever it was among the people that was still harboring iniquity in his heart should either step out or surrender.

Yours truly there and then was convicted in his spirit, and knew that time was up and just had to surrender. So surrender did I, and because God was knew how frail an individual could be without guidance or companionship at the early stage of the Christian walk, he there and the placed me in the midst of his children. And of course, I acted on the instruction that same night.

So how has been my walk with God? Well, the sadness has been replaced with a kind of peace I cannot explain, coupled with this is the joy that fills me up daily, especially when I really get soaked in his presence. Also, I just find it easier to talk to God about my issues now. And as for the emptiness, the Holy Spirit has filled the space.

It can be said that I am still a babe in Christ though, but since he has said he would do exceeding abundantly above all we can ever ask or think, I know he would fulfil that concerning me because I am so eager to know more about God, Jesus Christ and especially the Holy spirit which is the comforter.


T.B, EKITI

Obadan Gbeminiyi

2 comments:

  1. He always just gets us somehow. Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dear
    Talk about unconditional love, love that seeks you out

    ReplyDelete

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