SOMETIMES I AM ASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL



This title is shocking, but it is true, truer, than true.

I want to believe that I can be honest with my readers, when I say sometimes I get ashamed of the gospel.

Yes I have a blog, where I openly talk about Jesus and all, check my Instagram, more Jesus, then go to twitter, in fact it's the whole trinity.
 Sometimes when I am alone, I wonder if my own is too much, is this Jesus thing too much?, why am I always on and on about him, I look at social media pages of old friends I used to roll with and wonder, if there is a slight possibility that they are living life better than I am, are they really enjoying life, while I am the boring one.

I am being honest when I say these thought do come, they come, and I sometimes entertain these thoughts, never mind that I know fully well, that not all thoughts that come in my head are my thoughts, I know this pretty well, I know that one of the devils most effective ways to get to us is through our thoughts, which is why I need to guard my heart, but friends I am honest when I say I entertain the thoughts.

It was on one of such days as I entertained the thoughts that, my freedom came, it came through the Holyspirit, interrupting my thoughts,and taking me on a journey to my past ,the Holyspirit, my sweet friend, interrupted my thoughts,( I love when he does that), he took me to a time in my life before I accepted Jesus, sometime in my third year in the University, I saw myself on my bed, in my room in University, scrolling through Twitter, I slid into a followers direct message, to ask him how he did it, this was a follower that was a well known party animal, and I had noticed him begin to drop some christian tweets, I wasn't even sure he was the real deal, but he now had a semblance of Godliness, and was beginning to tweet christian stuff on how he had changed, as opposed to the normal tweets he tweeted, I had messaged him then to ask how he did it?,and what had changed in him, and told him how I wished I could change like him, but it was tough.

As I snapped out of that vision, I realised the truth, the truth that while I was in the world, I secretly envied the Jesus gang, I secretly wondered how they could be so close to Jesus and I wasn't, even though I struggled hard to get this closeness.
This truth brought, encouragement and comfort.
How dare I, allow the enemy trick me into thinking my old life was better, when this new life in Christ is all , I have ever wanted, as I pondered I was thankful to the Holyspirit, because he reminded me, of what is truly important, this reminder, brought freedom to me, I look at my life now and I can boldly say I want for nothing, because all I would ever possibly need, is in Jesus, life makes more sense now, I am no longer floating through life...I can't even explain the peace that comes with knowing your life has a direction, and you cannot miss it, because Christ is the captain of my life and he steers it best. I have found love in the everlasting arms of my saviour, love that makes me sing even when it gets tough, love that has cleansed my passions and desire, it's amazing how the things people term as fun don't excite me or intrigue me, because Christ keeps calling me higher and to a deeper intimacy of him, what is fun, if I am not discovering myself in him?
 I have direct access to the creator of the heavens and earth, because I am righteous in him...even as I write this I can't help but smile, at what the gospel has done to me.

And when those thoughts come instead of throwing myself a pity party and entertaining them, I can boldly tell the devil, just as big brother Paul said that I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation [from His wrath and punishment] to everyone who believes [in Christ as Savior],
For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed, both springing from faith and leading to faith [disclosed in a way that awakens more faith].-Romans 1:16 (amplified version)

I can't help but carry my love for Jesus on my head, because he was not ashamed to tell the world how crazy he is for me, by dying for me even when I despised him.
So, while it may seem like some people have it better than me in life, I KNOW for certain that I am not missing out on anything, because I have Jesus, and in him I have all that I need to enjoy my life, and I am enjoying it.

I wrote this post for anyone that might be struggling to stand for who they are now in Christ, I dare you to take stock of your life, not just the physical part but really dig deep, bare your soul, compare and contrast life then and life now, what team would you honestly be on.
Have you ever felt ashamed of your faith, or about something you believed strongly about? Let's talk about it in the comment section, I would love to hear from you.

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x.o gbemieO

Obadan Gbeminiyi

4 comments:

  1. Yes you are totally right....this is something i have been battling with for a while. You just helped overcome that.

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  2. Replies
    1. ...the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, thanks a lot for your comment

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