HOW TO BE HAPPY FOR FRIENDS....WHEN LIFE 'SUCKS' FOR YOU

GbemieO and Laide at Laide's suprise engagement party

Ever felt like life was passing you by?

Ever felt jealous of a friend's progress...even though deep down you did not want to feel jealous?

Do you truly want to be happy for friends when good things happen to them?

If you can relate with any of these questions, then you should definitely keep reading this post.

Before that please (please oo, I am not proud o I am begging) subscribe so you can get notified the second I put out a new post. Thank you.

See that picture above?

That's me in the brown top smiling my life away, I was at my friend Laide's suprise engagement party (peep her rock lol) what is not obvious in this picture is that emotionally I was not in the best of places, in fact by human standards I had no business being at an engagement party, talk less of smiling so hard or being so happy for a friend that just got engaged (I was really happy o, I can't lie, I remember my cheeks hurting because I laughed and smiled a lot). A few days to this beautiful day, the relationship I was in, had just come to an abrupt end, and I was still in shock lol. (story for another day...I think hehee).

A lot of us struggle with being happy for friends, colleagues and people around us, when good things happen to them especially when it seems like our lives are not moving forward.

I have put together great tips that I use myself and that have helped me stay genuinely happy for people, I bet you will find at least one helpful.

  • ALWAYS COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS 
As simple as this sounds, I promise you, it works!!, the thing about counting your blessings is that it keeps you thankful, it shifts your focus off people's achievements and it helps you stay grateful for your blessings. It also starves the spirit of competition and comparison. I am sure many of us have heard the saying " Comparison is the thief of Joy" that saying is soo true.

Learning to count my blessings, has helped me appreciate my growth, it has also helped me stay excited and expectant as to what pleasant surprise God wants to swing my way.

I think it's important to state that many of us do not recognize blessings because we are so blinded by comparison, and we expect our blessings to come the way the person next doors did, look out for God in the simplest and purest of forms. God answers prayers per second...I can say this because I know this.

Shift your eyes off what is happening for the person next door, focus on what God is doing for you, you will gradually notice that your neighbors blessings would not bother you negatively because your will be too busy basking in God's love for you, and celebrating your friend.

  • RECOGNIZE SEASONS IN YOUR LIFE 
I particularly like the lyrics of the song by Chief Ebenezer Obey called "Aimasiko" (simi has a contemporary version) the chorus of the song simply says "Man's greatest problem is not knowing or being aware of times and seasons".

A favorite prayer of mine, in recent times is asking God to show me his blueprint for my life for every season of my life.

The essence of this prayer is to keep me in check, and help me ensure that I am walking in purpose and not following the crowd.

When you are aware of God's plans for your life, you become rest assured of his good plans for you.

Even when a thousand and one good things seem to be going well for your friend, your first reaction is not self pity or envy. If anything it's an assurance that good things are coming your way too.

So if for instance your friend just got a car and like me you are still entering okada (Nigerian slang for motorcycles used for public transportation) and disturbing bus conductors for your 100 Naira change, instead of being jealous of your friends new ride, you gladly celebrate this friend because you know that there is purpose attached to your okada and bus days lol, and it's only for a season of your life.

Seasons always change never forget.

Instead of getting jealous channel all that energy into praying for clarity in your season, and making the most of it in joy and contentment as you celebrate others.

  • CUT OUT FAKE FRIENDS
This is actually a major key.
First things first...why are you keeping fake people around you?
Why are you intentionally hurting yourself?

Keeping fake people around you has no benefit...except you are also a fake person (ouch!!)
You owe it to yourself to surround yourself with people who genuinely love you, for you, not for the things you own or what they can benefit from you.
The thing about having fake people is that when things are going well for them, they feed your insecurities by rubbing it in your face, now we all know it's difficult to be happy for someone that always spites you.

Genuine friends never rub their success in your face, especially when you are down (I have a feeling this is someone's word).
Genuine friends hold your hands through tough situations, pray with and for you, this way you get motivated and inspired by their achievements.
My point is genuinely examine your circle of friends, do they help you bear fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, gentleness e.t.c) or is it fruits of the flesh (anger, jealousy, strife etc).
If you have fake people as friends, it's time for you to quietly disengage yourself from this circle, in order to guard your joy and sanity.


I would be lying if I said sometimes envy or jealousy doesn't sneak in sometimes, but I always make sure I catch it before it grows and of course I counter it with what the word of God says about me.


Guys these are my three tips on being happy perpetually happy for people, do you think they are helpful?.
 Do you have any tips to share that might be helpful?
Please share in the comment section below. I always love to hear from my readers.
Please share this post with everyone you know using the social media icons below.
x.o gbemieO





Obadan Gbeminiyi

10 comments:

  1. Very Beautiful. Thank you for this Gbemz

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Abraham, thank you for your prayers

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    2. Thanks a lot moyosore, I appreciate you

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  2. This is wonderful! I loved when you wrote "look out for God in the simplest and purest form" this spoke to me on so many levels. Recently I had a short lived jealous moment that I immediately rebuked, literally I could feel myself slipping into it but thank God for the Holy Spirit who quickly caught me and I rejected it and threw the thought away. So prayers work for me as well as getting a gift or doing something nice for someone I feel a little jealousy towards or I know there may be a tendency for jealousy. I do something I'm not entirely comfortable with to put a smile on their face, helps me in so many ways.

    Thanks Gbems, very needful and helpful article. God bless you

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    Replies
    1. hi, fortified woman
      thank you so much for your comment, I learnt a lot from it, I really need to try out your getting a gift suggestion, it sounds brilliant. And we are ever thankful for the gift of the Holyspirit, ever ready to catch us even before we slip. God bless you too

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  3. This was a good read and very relatable!

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    Replies
    1. hi Moyo,
      thanks a lot for stopping by. I am glad you were able to relate with this post...please don't forget to subscribe

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    2. This is my first time here. Well done Gbemie.This piece blessed me.

      Delete
    3. Hi hi
      Welcome...so glad to have you here, please don't forget to subscribe.

      Delete

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